so, resolusi 2008 gue adalah…yah smoga gue bisa lebih dewasa, mengurangi sifat kekanak-kanakan gue…lebih bisa menyeimbangkan logika dan perasaan…lebih bisa bagi waktu…dan…yang trakir…dan yang selalu sama setiap tahunnya…ng…ya u know lah! (Kaleidoskopi 2007, 2007)

so, my 2008 resolution is, i can be more mature, reduce my childish...balancing logic and feeling...can manage time nicely...and, the one which is always the same every year...nggg...yeah, you know! (Kaleidoskopi 2007, 2007)

first of all, i think i have to write in English because yesterday i received a complain that told, if i write a blog in Indonesia, there's no international people would understand, especially my friends that i met on Taize...so this is the first time i will write my kaleidoscope in english...haha!

it's a some kind of tradition for me (and my blog) to write a kaleidoscope of a year. it's kind a flashback to remind me what happens on me in a year. to reflect on it and do something better in new year.

actually, i didn't write so many in 2008...i don't know why but maybe it's because i move into blogger and it's quite need many clicks than a friendster blogs...but it's okay, i will tell as long as i remember...

these days, i've got a disease.
a very horrible disease.

this disease can infected anyone in this world. whatever their ages, whenever they stay, whatever they do, it's just everyone.

this disease can result a very tremendous effect when it affect someone, such as me.
the people who get affected by this disease, has to be stay at home by doing nothing. you definitely cannot go anywhere, just stay in your bed, turn up your TV, go surfing in the internet, or watching some DVDs.

so what will you do at home if you get affected by this kind of disease is just eat and sleep. well, go to toilet is a must. you absolutely can't do nothing beside it!

and so far as i know, this disease got no cure!

yes, there are no medicine in the world can cure this kind of disease. i can't believe it. i just imagine my self if all the people in my town got this disease, then the street will be empty! there are no one single human in the street. all of them just stay at home a whole day. just like in the movie 28 Weeks Later. the living of humankind can be threatened!

gosh! what a horrible disease!



and the worst part is this disease almost makes your brain weaker. you can't think about something. it's like, the disease rests you brain. your brain is sleeping and there's nothing that you can do about it. even for a simple math problem like 37 x 4, your brain can't solve it! what a disease!

but this disease don't affect you like in your whole life time. it's just same like other disease such as flu, when your body and mind goes weak, it goes to you.

and what i realize with this disease, you know that this disease in your body but you almost can't do nothing! well, there's a chance that you can do something about it, but it's have to be really good and strong. and maybe your relatives can help you about it. but if you have no intention to do something about this disease, well, you better say goodbye to you precious life.

what a horrible disease!

so is it the most deadly disease in the world? the worst disease that got no cure at all?
that disease called,

laziness.

yeah, udah masuk bulan juni...yang artinya tinggal hitungan hari lagi menuju keberangkatan gue...deg2an euy! gosh!

bulan2 awal setelah mendengar kabar bahwa gue yang akan berangkat ke Taize, bener2 berat buat gue...loh knapa mo? kan harusnya lo seneng? yeah seneng sih...tapi bagaikan dua sisi dari sebuah koin, ada seneng ada engga juga...ga seneng disini maksudnya lebih ke terbeban...mungkin lebih ke mempertanyakan kepercayaan diri...yang satu ini kalo gue boleh membela diri, emank wajar kok...

gila lo, seorang TIMO bisa pergi ke PERANCIS...wtf??

kmaren2 ini gue yang sering banget bertanya2 dalam hati gue, knapa gue sih yang pergi?
apa pantesnya sih gue? apa gue bisa? apa gue sanggup hidup tiga bulan disana? sendirian loh! bareng orang2 dari sluruh dunia pula yang ga gue kenal satupun? sapa tau isinya orang2 gila smua yang suka ngegigitin jempol kaki orang laen?

yeah stidaknya pertanyaan2 semacam itu yang muncul di benak gue. dan ketika gue mencoba menjawab satu pertanyaan, muncul lagi pertanyaan berikutnya, dan seterusnya...huhuhu...

tapi itu kmaren....so last year banget deh...haha! skarang stidaknya gue lebih fokus ke persiapan keberangkatan gue...mungkin pertanyaan2 smacam itu dapat terjawab di sana nantinya...dan gue jadi inget perkataan salah seorang teman dari milist yang bilang kaya gini,

selamat menempuh perziarahan ke Taize, yang sebenarnya sudah dimulai ketika kamu mengatakan "ya" untuk menuju ke Taize...

wowh, bener banget deh tuh kata2...mengingat pergumulan hati gue waktu itu...haha...

hm mo crita apalagi yah...actually gue masih binun akan bawa outfit macam apa kesana...

gue dah pernah ke jepang dan gue dah dikasi banyak briefing mengenai kondisi jepang pada saat gue akan kesana, yaitu lagi winter...dan gue dah prepare dengan cara bongkar lemari dan memborong baju2 hangat plus jaket kesayangan gue...sesampenya gue disana dan apa yang terjadi sodara sodara sekalian???

gue harus beli jaket baru karena jaket kesayangan gue tak mampu menahan dingin dengan suhu di bawah 10 derajat celcius...oh no!

yeah dengan pengalaman itu, penting banget buat tau detil tentang situasi dan kondisi tempat tujuan...tentang prancis, banyak orang dah bilang juli-oktober adalah musim panas peralihan ke gugur...beberapa orang menyarankan ga usah bawa jaket, panas kok...beberapa orang mengatakan, bawa jaket aja lah, panasnya sono ma panasnya sini kan beda., apalagi dah mo masuk gugur dah mayan dingin loh...masa iya tar gue pas ampe sana ternyata bukan beli jaket baru tapi musti beli kolor baru lantaran kolor yang gue bawa engga french-friendly...hehe...

haduh jadi binun! masa gue musti bawa semua isi lemari gueeeeee....huhuhu...

dan satu masalah lagi...gue sadar berat isi lemari gue penuh dengan kaos2 palsu alias bajakan alias produksi mangga dua...wondering aja tar apa kata orang2 disana ketika melihat gue make kaos2 gue...ketauan donk bahwa indonesia adalah negara tukang bajak...hehe...

ah guenya aja yang doyan ma barang bajakan...

haha!

hoah binun!



-ditulis pada H-31 departure-

NB: yang lucunya, alamat rumah gue, blok H nomer 31...haha ga penting!