Kaleidoscope 2008

so, resolusi 2008 gue adalah…yah smoga gue bisa lebih dewasa, mengurangi sifat kekanak-kanakan gue…lebih bisa menyeimbangkan logika dan perasaan…lebih bisa bagi waktu…dan…yang trakir…dan yang selalu sama setiap tahunnya…ng…ya u know lah! (Kaleidoskopi 2007, 2007)

so, my 2008 resolution is, i can be more mature, reduce my childish...balancing logic and feeling...can manage time nicely...and, the one which is always the same every year...nggg...yeah, you know! (Kaleidoskopi 2007, 2007)

first of all, i think i have to write in English because yesterday i received a complain that told, if i write a blog in Indonesia, there's no international people would understand, especially my friends that i met on Taize...so this is the first time i will write my kaleidoscope in english...haha!

it's a some kind of tradition for me (and my blog) to write a kaleidoscope of a year. it's kind a flashback to remind me what happens on me in a year. to reflect on it and do something better in new year.

actually, i didn't write so many in 2008...i don't know why but maybe it's because i move into blogger and it's quite need many clicks than a friendster blogs...but it's okay, i will tell as long as i remember...

January 2008
i think i can describe this month into one word: JAPAN. yes, my first abroad and i go to Japan. my sister was doing her work from November '07 till January '08 and i'm on my holiday. so my parents got their crazy ideas: sent me alone to Japan, take vacation, and had my sister to take care of me. it's a cool idea so here i was for three weeks, from January 10th until January 31th.. and i think this trip can be classified as backpacking! so, my first abroad and my first backpacking! voila!

February 2008
there's nothing special on this month. as long as i remember, i prepared for a drama of Jesus' crucifixing (i don't know how to called it in english, hope u understand)...and for this one, i became the director. haha! my first time to direct such a colosal theatre performance. at first, i felt like don't have enough confidence. but later, i'm enjoying it. haha!

March 2008
there's a performance of the drama and it's goes very well. there's appreciation and regeneration for the theatre group. it's such a minimalist performance and i emphasized it on the atmosphere, with melancholist and powerful backsound. don't know if it works or not but there's many people who watched was crying. hoho. and i attended for the first time, Java Jazz Festival. hoho and i will attended it again!

April 2008
i rember this month is the month which something really big gonna happens to me. i remember, i read a flyer about open recruitment to become a volunteer in Taize, France for three months. and when i read that paper, i remember my heart is beating. ok, i have to apply for it! i apply, i struggle with the selection, and i passed it. HAHA. so damn happy. but not only happiness, also with doubtness. three months? Taize? ME? can't believe it. trully can't believe it but it happens. OMG.

May 2008
still amazed of my achievement. i still remember the morning when i told my parents that i will go to Taize, my father cried. oh my, i was shocked. so this is what will happens when the son make their parents proud. still two months before my departure, i prepared the documents and start to think what i will show on Indonesian workshop in Taize later (what a ridicoulus thought, after i experienced it, found out later that the workshop no need a lot of preparation!). ironically, this kind of thought is really dominant in my head because there's some people always reminding me about the workshop, and i get some kind of paranoid! haha.

June 2008
it's a difficult month for me. only a month and i will go to the biggest journey of my life. and on this month, i suffered an inferiority. am i really proper to be send to Taize? why me? why not somebody else who more religious? i mean, i'm not so that religious. i didn't pray a lot in a day. such a difficult month

July 2008
my departure! and still feel that doubt on my last minutes. haha. just can't believe it that my biggest dream ever will be come true that fast! after more less 22 hours of trip, i arrived on that hill. and....speechless.

August 2008
my second month on Taize. i remember that my English is quite improved. and i spend some time to continue write my blog. but i remember on this month, i start to write in english. haha.

September 2008
i really enjoying my staying in Taize. but i remember on this month, there's many people that i know for months start to leave. it's always hard to say goodbye. but,ce'st la vie! and i start to feel homesick just because i really miss Indonesian food. because the food there is really not tasty! haha.

October 2008
there's more people left. one of it makes my eyes get starry. and, my departure. as i remember, i make that departure the happiest departure ever. haha! because i didn't stop to smile, even when i say "see you later" to all the people who accompany me on the bus stop. but after that, minutes on the bus is the hardest minutes on my life. and i felt like, the bus driver is the meanest person in the world. haha. it feels like, I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE THAT HILL! but i have to. because the world keeps on turning out there. even that kind of feeling keep on haunting me while i completed my biggest dream ever; Eiffel. on that tower, i feel like, oh that's Eiffel, so? but in the plane it's get better, i start to think about my family, my friends, and Indonesian food. haha!

November 2008
arranging my life after-Taize. continuing my college after get the compensation from my lecturer, struggling like a dog here. and the other things. and suffered a disease called "after-Taize syndrome". you know, everyday my thoughts back on that hill, on the songs, on the people, and anything that related to Taize. and start to plan my backpacking trip with my friends to Singapore. yiha!
and i almost forgot, this is the month when i start my "career" as a part-time worker. start from open recruitment to find a volunteer for a film festival from my email, i apply, interview, and i got this job, volunteer for Indonesia International Fantastic Film Festival. from this open, my eyes is opened; i build my networking.

December 2008
and that networking continued until i apply and accepted as a volunteer for Jakarta International Film Festival, the biggest and the oldest film festival in town. HAHA! i don't know why but i always waiting this film festival (see JiFFest Menjelang, UAS Ditendang, sorry, Indonesian only). i'm very proud of this because i always followed this festival (as a participant) from 2004 and i always dream that someday i will become one of the volunteer. and now i got it! and it's not that difficult to get it actually. hehe.
move on. yes i go to Singapore, it's a crazy trip. i mean, i'm too crazy to planned this trip because of some reason. and the craziest thing is, my friends is coming with me. haha. so i spend my Christmas and New Years eve here. and fulfill our dream; a beach party! haha.

soooo i think 2008 is a trip-year for me! and fulfilling dreams year! i can't believe it, three countries in one year? and fulfilled my biggest dream ever?? wowh! so damn lucky! and also about the volunteer jobs! i mean, it's like a wish job for me, working to gain some experiences and also money, and work in the my favourite place ever: theatre, and work about movies?? wowh, it's so ME! but i'm proud of it. and thanks to everyone who help, accompany, and support me while i'm fulfilling my dreams.

2009? so far i have one "old" dream and one "new" dream to be fulfilled. and i believe that "22 years old" dream will be fulfilled this year. i believe it will be happens. and the "new" dream, i pesimistic it will be happen for a short time, maybe for next two or three years later. but i believe it will come true.
the other resolution is, get a fine job. so far i get a part-time job just to fill up my CV with experiences and gain some money. but after i graduated (this is also my resolution), i believe i will get a nice job.
and i think i will not go anywhere this year because i don't have money at all after that trip-year. haha.

hope that my dreams will keep on fulfilled.

and it's never late to say,
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009! Read More...

Hey!

hey kamu..
tahukah kamu bahwa lautan biru tak ada artinya lagi bagiku
karena aku telah menyeberanginya tanpa ragu
dan mengalahkan segala ketakutan semu

hey kamu...
tahukah kamu bahwa hitungan jarak tak berguna bagiku
karena aku bisa mengatasinya tanpa waktu
untuk kemudian menyadari bahwa semua itu hanyalah palsu

hey kamu...
tahukah kamu bahwa barisan penggoda tak berpengaruh padaku
karena aku tahu susunan huruf apa yang tercetak di dalam hatiku
dan kata itu terus berulang tanpa kaku

hey kamu...
tahukah kamu setiap detik waktu tidak berlaku terhadapku
karena toh aku telah mengarunginya lama, seakan tak pernah berlalu
dan sampai sekarang aku masih tetap menunggu

-120109-

(setelah sekian lama, mencoba untuk membuat puisi lagi, untuk seseorang) Read More...

La Ultimaves

my 12th weeks! i can't believe it...

it feels like i just arrived yesterday in Taize, almost get lost after i alight on Macon-Loche Station, helped by a stranger mom with her daughter and she directed me to hop in on the last bus to Taize, get wet because of the rain and join the evening prayer immediately after i alight in the Taize bus stop.

and in this week i have to go!

maybe everyone who stay longer in Taize will feels this way, it's like don't wanna go home and want to continue this community life. because of you already live with several people for months, build a common life with them, you fit with the works (well, some of them), you love the place, the prayers, the atmosphere, and so on.

but hey, the world keeps on turning out there!

i admitted that Taize is like the place with no bureaucracy, no time, no material, no world thing. you no need (a lot of) money to live in this place. in fact i just spend several euros during my three months staying (well, except the last day i spend a lot of money to buy a lot of stuff in EXPOSITION). and you no need time and calendar to live on this place, well excepts the meetings and the works. i mean, this place is SIMPLE, not as complicated as you live in the real world. you just live you life day by day, enjoying every second that passed by, and you will be HAPPY! at least that lesson what i learned during my staying. and the challenge is to apply it into this real world.

ok enough for the sentimental writings!

the brothers always give a Cadole job for those who will leave on that week. i found out that they did this because Cadole is the only job who no need a team work. i mean, Cadole workers is like freelancer. you missed one-two people doesn't affect the result of the work. and works on Cadole is very variety. some of them really ridiculous and so not important. like i did on my last day on Cadole: i organized screwers and the other thing on Cadole stock room. it's like a job which need a lot of patience and carefully which is i don't have it a lot. and the worst thing is i already did that job on my first month. the job that only need several minutes to finish it. yeah i admitted it's important to do that job otherwise everyone will be very difficult to find the right screw.












but i also did the cleaning tent job. because of not so many people come to Taize so they drop out the tent, clean it, and put them on the stock room. yeah it's an important job and also quite difficult job because we have to bring the heavy tent, lay down nicely, spray it with high-pressure water, brushed it very nicely, spray it again, roll up, bring it into some structure to make the tent dry, and take the second tent, do the same steps, and finally have some dog biscuit and tea.



more less, that the description of my work on my last week. and i work only until wednesday and i got free on thursday and friday. the brothers always do this to give us a time to packing and do others preparation.

so i use my free time for "shopping" on EXPOSITION. buy some postcards and icons. and afterward i become a poor man. haha! on my last day i take my handycam and start make my own documentary about Taize village and its people. i'm sure that's a good videography.

and more less that's what happens on my last week. i will tell you more details what happens on my last hours in Taize. the moment that i will not forget until the end of time. Read More...